今天跟Leo的几个朋友吃饭，虽然我跟他们是第一次见面，但是席间有几个E人来不断创造话题，其他人也顺势跟上，调侃的，附和的，哈哈大笑的，感觉很轻松。

每个人的生活当然都有自己的不如意，比如六个人里有两个人都是刚分手，但是聚在一起，还是有很多开心的事情可以分享。

而且他们分享的这些事情完全没有炫耀的意思，都是生活里的小事，比如最近喜欢看的电视剧、上个月的旅行之类的。

而我偶尔跟lab毕业的同学吃饭，（都是中国人），大家聊起自己，好像永远都在诉苦。我们又layoff了，你们公司怎么样。 即使有买了新房这种大喜事也都很客气，一直在说装修多害怕被坑，背上贷款多辛苦。另外一边就安慰说哎呀其实你们还好，我们也是这样。谦虚来谦虚去。

这其实也都还好，至少我觉得我们lab毕业的同学本性都挺善良的，大家聊起来也都没有炫耀的意思。只是，要是大家多分享一点轻松开心的事就好了。 不是升职加薪这种跟钱和工作相关的开心事，就是那些能让你会心一笑的小事。

（我做个朋友对别人的要求还真多）

8/4更新：

笑死，刚才看何伟的Other rivers，里面讲他九十年代在涪陵师专的学生毕业之后的生活，也有类似的说法：

One of the major contrasts between the two Chinas-the China of the migrants and the China of those who stayed home was marriage. Traditionally, rural residents married young, and teachers generally followed that pattern. Also like rural Chinese, they generally downplayed any good news. In letters they came across as brutal realists:

Last winter, I was married with a doctor. He is not very handsome but he is very kind to me. Next spring we will have a baby.

What makes me happy is that I married an ugly woman who graduated from the math department of Fuling Teachers College.

Had dinner today with a few of Leo’s friends. It was my first time meeting them, but a few extroverts at the table kept the conversation flowing, and everyone else naturally joined in — teasing, chiming in, laughing out loud. The whole thing felt really easy and light.

Of course, everyone has their own struggles — out of the six of us, two had just gone through breakups — but even so, there was still so much joy being shared.

And the stories they shared weren’t flashy at all. Just little everyday things: shows they’ve been watching, funny work moments with clients, recent trips they took. No bragging, just casual, happy talk.

It got me thinking — when I occasionally meet up with my old labmates (all Chinese), the vibe’s really different. Conversations often center around stress or complaints. “Oh, our team just had another round of layoffs — how’s your company doing?” Even when someone buys a new place, it’s always paired with things like “Renovations are so stressful,” or “I’m so nervous about getting scammed,” or “Ugh, mortgage payments…” The rest of us then jump in to reassure them: “No, no, it’s ok — we’re all going through the same thing.” It’s just this endless loop of humility.

And to be fair, my labmates are genuinely kind people — no one’s out here trying to show off or anything. I just wish we could share a few more lighthearted, happy moments now and then. Not promotions or raises or anything tied to money or work — just the kind of little things that make you smile to yourself.

(…I really am kind of a picky friend, huh?)