现在是周日晚上九点，我整个人都感觉很焦虑。工作当然是主因，但是关于工作上的吐槽我感觉在博客里已经写了好几篇，所以暂时就先放放。

除了工作之外，我发现我对生活里的负面情绪远比正面情绪敏感，不妨以当下的情况做一个例子，罗列一下都有哪些负面情绪。 我当然更希望能改变自己的思维方式，更专注于积极的情绪。不过这个下次再说，先让我把目前的情绪宣泄一下。

首先，喷喷 这两天有夏日祭典，整个游戏的场景都换了，风格非常赛博朋克，我超级喜欢，拍了很多照。 再加上最近我的水平也逐渐上升，胜率来到了大概50%，即使输了也不会觉得怎么样。总之玩这个游戏本身带给我很大乐趣。

pic

（这图从switch传过来怎么这么糊）

但是打开小红书，貌似是因为祭典期间的匹配机制发生了变化（我是新手所以也不懂具体情况），总之有些人输得惨不忍睹，然后就发帖吐槽，语气就是小红书常见的那种全世界都要来害我的感觉。 这让我觉得你们玩个游戏至于这样吗，介意一直输就不要玩啊。（当然你也可以说你为什么要看呢，我的确因此今天都没太刷小红书了，但是心里还是不断地想，有一种总想跟想象中的楼主吵架的感觉）。 此为负面情绪之一。

再来一件小事，之前《最后生还者》第二季口碑不好，我也写了 一篇博客 来讲为什么我觉得第二季不如第一季。 今天听了一期播客，主播也不喜欢第二季，但是我又觉得他们不喜欢的理由很中年直男，很为Ellie叫屈。 此为负面情绪之二。

最后一件是我最在意的。就是我最近体检，胆固醇再一次严重超标。这个情况已经持续了很多年，这次下定决心要改变饮食。 比如把牛奶和酸奶都换成脱脂的，减少从肉类摄取蛋白质，改成植物蛋白（豆腐、鹰嘴豆、豆奶之类）。

但是今天朋友邀我去烧烤，我本来觉得也没什么，当作cheat day。但是到了之后聊天，手不自觉地就拿起薯片往嘴里送，还喝了啤酒和碳酸饮料。 当我拿起饮料看配料表的时候，一瓶36克糖，我心都要死了。回来之后还反复想这件事，觉得之前的转变都毁于一旦（其实并不会，少摄入的糖和脂肪都是实打实的，但还是觉得今天下午一切都功亏一篑）。 此为负面之三。

所有这些负面情绪的产生都是一瞬间的事。比如当我意识到我不该继续刷小红书的时候，不该继续喝饮料的时候，我的确都立刻停下来。但是负面情绪并没有随之消失，反而一直萦绕心间。 好像错误已经铸成，不存在亡羊补牢的可能。我初步觉得一是要杜绝这些负面情绪的源头（noise source）（当然本质上这种想法也是不对的，因为是在变相要求自己永不犯错，变成一个完美的人），二是产生负面情绪之后不要一直纠结（coupling path）。妈呀心理学原来也是desense。

It’s Sunday night, 9 PM, and I’m feeling really anxious.

Work is obviously the main reason, but honestly I’ve already written multiple blog posts complaining about work, so let’s put that aside for now.

Outside of work, I’ve realized something about myself: I’m way more sensitive to negative emotions than positive ones. So I figured, why not use my current mood as a case study and just list them out?

Of course, I do hope to eventually shift my mindset and focus more on the good stuff — but not today. Today, I just want to let it all out.

First off — Splatoon had its summer festival event this weekend. The maps and visuals got a full cyberpunk makeover, which I absolutely loved. I even took a bunch of screenshots. Plus, I’ve been slowly improving — my win rate is hovering around 50%, and even when I lose, I’m chill about it. So yeah, the game itself has brought me a lot of joy lately.

But. Then I opened Xiaohongshu. Apparently, the matchmaking system changes during the festival (I’m new, so I don’t fully understand the mechanics), but anyway, some players are getting completely destroyed and venting all over the app. The tone is that classic “the whole world is out to get me” energy Xiaohongshu is infamous for. And I’m just like — it’s a game, why are you taking it so seriously? If losing frustrates you that much, maybe just… don’t play?

(Yes, I know, I could also just not read it. And I haven’t, really — barely touched Xiaohongshu today. But the posts still linger in my mind, and I keep catching myself mentally arguing with people who don’t even know I exist.)

That’s negative emotion No. 1.

Next, a smaller thing: The Last of Us Season 2 has been getting mixed reviews, and I even wrote a blog about why I thought it didn’t work as well as Season 1.

Then today I listened to a podcast where the hosts also disliked Season 2 — but their reasons felt very “middle-aged straight dude.” They kept going on about how Ellie was treated unfairly, and I don’t know, it just rubbed me the wrong way.

Negative emotion No. 2.

The last one is the one that hit me the hardest.

I recently had a health check-up, and my cholesterol is still way too high. It’s been like this for years. So this time, I decided to really commit — switched to skim milk and nonfat yogurt, started replacing meat-based protein with plant-based options like tofu, chickpeas, and soy milk.

But today, a friend invited me to a BBQ. I thought, okay, cheat day — no big deal. But once we started chatting, I absentmindedly grabbed some chips, then had a beer, then soda. And then I looked at the nutrition label: 36g of sugar in one bottle. I wanted to scream.

The rest of the night I kept thinking about it, feeling like I’d undone all the progress I made. (Rationally I know that’s not true — all the healthy choices I made before today still count. But emotionally, it felt like I’d ruined everything in one afternoon.)

Negative emotion No. 3.

What’s wild is how fast these emotions come on. The moment I realized I should stop scrolling Xiaohongshu, I did stop. Same with the soda — once I saw the label, I put it down. But the bad feelings didn’t go away with the action. They just stuck with me — as if the mistake had already been made, and there was no way to “patch it up.”

Right now my early theory is: I need to reduce the noise sources that trigger these feelings. And I need to stop mentally replaying them over and over once they happen. Turns out mental health is just emotional desense.